If you like to laugh, if you like to get wet, and if you love the Florida Keys, here’s an event guaranteed to float your flip-flops – though not necessarily your boat.
The 22nd Annual Schooner Wharf Minimal Regatta splashes into Key West on May 26, 2013, promising a ship-load of hilarity for participants and spectators. Festivities begin at the Key West Bight off the Schooner Wharf Bar, with the first heat starting at approximately 1:30 p.m.
Boating teams can use a single sheet of 4-by-8-foot plywood, two eight-foot 2 by 4s, a roll of duct tape and a pound of fasteners to construct their craft. That’s it. Even caulking and adhesives are forbidden.
Now, boats crafted of thin plywood and duct tape don’t sound very seaworthy, and they’re not. Nevertheless, they’re the only class of vessel allowed.
You read the part that said “minimal,” right? And about getting wet? Let’s move on.
Teams are charged with keeping their vessels afloat long enough to complete the course. Up to six members are allowed per team, and at least one must man the vessel throughout the Regatta.
Participants can compete for prizes in categories that include fastest boat, most creative design, best paint job, sportsmanship and best costumed entry. The event also bestows “sinker” awards on deserving entries – but no one wants win one of those!
Live music and a Memorial Day barbecue round out the action. The fun continues into the night.
And if you want to stay dry, remember what Benjamin Franklin said: “Little boats should keep near shore.”